Content Warning: None really
Welcome to the first
“Magical May” here with the Anime Necromancer! Yeah, I’m doing
themed months. I mean, I did already in March with “Mecha March”
but thought it sounded kind of stupid to type it out. Now, since I’m
going be talking about something that most folks would find
embarrassing to talk about out loud, screw it, we’re going to be
out in the open about stuff.
Since you’ve already
seen the title of this one, you know where we’re going today.
Sailor Moon isn’t the first Magical Girl show (I think Milky Momo
holds that title) but it was one of the most popular and introduced
something new to the genre that has become standard: The Magical Girl
team. You see, the creator of the show looked at Sentai (think Power
Rangers) stuff and worked it into what would become Sailor Moon. And
even Sailor Moon wasn’t her first Magical Girl work, that would be
Sailor V, who later got retconned into Sailor Venus.
One final thing before
we get started, I’m only doing a review of the first five episodes
as there’s 200 in the original run of the show, and I don’t have
time for that right now. While I’d like to revisit this thing
again, I make no promises. If you want more, let me know. Otherwise,
we might be waiting until May 2022. Oh, and I’m using an old fan
sub of the original, none of that DIC bullshit. With that out of the
way, let’s get started!
Episode One: The
Crybaby: Usagi's Beautiful Transformation
Our story begins with
Usagi waking up late for school and rushing off, and almost
forgetting her lunch. On her way there, she finds a group young boys
harassing a cat. Usagi comes to the rescue and removes a bandaid on
the cat’s head. Underneath, there’s a crescent shaped bald spot
on her forehead. Usagi gets to school and gets sent to stand in the
hallway, not only for being late but for getting 30% on her English
test. After this we get introduced to her friends, Naru and Umino.
Naru’s mom owns a jewelry store and Umino is a nerd. There’s a
brief discussion of Sailor V’s latest escapade and then visit the
jewelry store, where there’s a lot of stuff being sold. All of this
is of course the evil plan of the week to drain humans of their
energy. We also see that Naru’s mom has been turned in the Youma
(monster) of the week. Usagi leaves and runs into Momaru, who calls
her Dumpling Head for the first time. Things pick up after some
introduction of Usagi’s mom and younger brother, and her punishment
for failing her English test. Finally, Luna catches up with Usagi and
talks to her. Yeah, Luna is a talking cat. Her mission is fight the
enemies the police can’t fight and find the others and the
princess. If you’re familiar with the show at all, you already know
who the princess is but I’m going to leave this as a mystery for
anyone new to the franchise. It’s worth it. Usagi transforms for
the first time with a shout of “Moon Prism Power Makeup!” and
becomes Sailor Moon for the first time. Just in time, in fact to save
Naru from the monster impersonating her mom! Funny how that works,
isn’t it? Come on, it’s a kids show from 1992, you can’t expect
much. Sailor Moon fights the Youma and her human slaves, one of which
is armed with a broken bottle! Just when things are looking to go
badly, Tuxedo mask shows up for the first time! Hell, I’ll swoon
over him, because he’s just that awesome. After some crying from
Sailor Moon, we get the first Moon Tiara Action and Sailor Moon saves
the day for the very first time! I have to be honest, a lot happens
in just a few minutes but the episode doesn’t feel slow or rushed.
It’s not a bad way to kick things off.
Episode Two: Punishment
Awaits! The House of Fortune is the Monster Mansion
This episode opens with
a bit of a recap and then with some women getting their fortune read
using the I-Ching method. Which, if you don’t know what that is, go
look it up. Educate yourself. We also get some conversation from the
baddies, talking about the crystal they’re hunting for. But they
also need energy. Because reasons. When we get to school, we see that
Umino has a huge crush on Usagi. Which isn’t a surprise at all.
After Usagi gets her fortune read, we get to meet her crush, Motoki,
who works at the arcade. God, will kids even know what those are
these days? Don’t mind me, just feeling old. After the arcade,
Usagi runs across Momaru again and ends up going home. Meanwhile,
Umino has gone to the new fortune teller who uses Tarot cards. And is
our Youma of the week. She uses a card to corrupt Umino, as well as
others, I’m sure. The next day at school, the new and improved
Umino comes in a suit, asks Usagi out on a date, and then flashes the
teacher’s panties to everyone. We also see that some of the other
boys have been corrupted and start throwing rocks at the school’s
windows. Our Youma uses the Tarot cards they’re carrying to collect
energy. Umino then tries to kiss Usagi but her crying drives him and
the other boys away. Usagi goes to investigate the fortune teller and
transforms into Sailor Moon. She then catches the Youma trying to
convince the boys to do even worse things. And just like the other
fight, Sailor Moon runs away from the Youma and zombies, only to be
saved by Tuxedo Mask. After getting her pep talk, Sailor Moon easily
defeats the Youma and frees the boys. The next day, Umino is crushed
by what he did under the Youma’s control. But Usagi’s forgiveness
brings him back.
Episode Three: The
Mysterious Sleeping Sickness: Protect the Girls in Love
In the DIC version,
this is the second episode, for those of you who are confused. After
the recap of who we’re watching and what’s going on, Jadeite gets
orders from Queen Beryl to do his job. Then we get a shot of Tokyo
Tower and then see all the girls in the show, including the teacher,
listening to a radio program (and I feel old again). And then in the
morning, there’s an exposition dump about people suffering from a
sleeping sickness. Haruna-Sensei is late to class, even later than
Usagi, and seems to be in a daze, and is wearing a pretty purple
flower. Which is clearly consuming her energy. While walking after
school, Usagi is walking with Naru and talking about her “future
boyfriend” when she runs into Momaru. Yeah. Real subtle. Usagi then
tries to write a love letter to her “future boyfriend” but can’t
come up with anything. Usagi also discovers that there’s no such
show as Midnight Zero, the show every woman and girl is obsessed
with. And yet, the show still comes on. And Naru gets her letter read
that night. In the morning, Naru has her flower broach, which is the
same as Haruna-Sensei’s. And starts draining Naru’s energy, too.
And even drains some of Usagi’s, too, making her dream about Tuxedo
Mask. Later, Usagi is trying to sneak into the radio station and gets
her transformation pen, using Moon Power to look like a newscaster.
And she looks great, just going say. It’s a fun way to give your
character a new look when you need it. This also allows Usagi to
confront Jedeite directly without giving her secret identity away.
Which is good when the Youma of the week attacks and she transforms
into Sailor Moon. She fights the Youma and manages to use the tiara
attack without help from Tuxedo mask! She tries to attack Jedeite but
fails because he’s too powerful. As all hope looks lost, Tuxedo
Mask arrives and scares off Jediete. Usagi then starts writing a love
letter to Tuxedo Mask before class, arriving early to school for
once. Then Naru tries to read it and even Haruna-Sensei gets
involved.
Episode Four: Learn How
to Be Skinny from Usagi
Oh boy… This one is
going to be a trip… You see, Usagi has put on some weight, which is
devastating for a 14 year old girl. As her family points out, she
eats a lot and doesn’t work out. Her and her girl friends at school
have a conversation about weight and diets and stuff like that.
Umino, creepy stalker that he is, shows them pictures of how
Haruka-Sensei has lost some weight. Usagi and her friends show up at
the gym, Shapely, and join for free. Of course, this is where Jedeite
has set up shop. Usagi’s aversion to hard work saves her from being
put in the pods that drain the fat and their energy. After leaving on
her own, Usagi runs into Motoki, almost passing out from hunger. And
then, after being told that Motoki likes them full figured, grabs
some Bao. And then runs into Momaru, who makes fun of her. When he
makes fun of her, she throws one at him, which is a serious insult in
Japan, but he catches it. Usagi then returns to the gym to work
herself to death. There, Luna sees Haruna-Sensei going into one of
the energy draining pods in the basement, discovering the evil plan.
To save Haruna-Sensei, Luna gets really scary and gets Usagi to
change into Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon confronts Jedeite in the
basement and the workers, who are being controlled by the things on
their heads. We get to see Sailor Moon go hand-to-hand with these big
burly guys, it’s pretty cool. She then uses the Tiara to break the
circlets and free them. After getting back, Jedeite says that Sailor
Moon will die by his hand.
Episode Five: Scent of
a Monster! Chanela Will Steal Your Love
This is another skipped
episode from the DIC version, so let’s see if we can figure out
why… After being saved by a nightmare by Tuxedo Mask, Usagi wakes
up to Shingo freaking about Luna in her brother, Shingo’s room. It
turns out that he hates cats. Usagi wants to make Luna the family pet
but Shingo will have nothing to do with it. After school we meet
Shingo’s love interest, Miko. Together, they go to a pet shop and
Shingo finds a Chanela, which looks like a guinea pig in desperate
need of a hair cut. Of course, these things are the new weapon used
to collect energy from humans. After bringing the Chanela home,
Shingo kicks Luna, the little bastard. Of course, he’s actually
under the control of the furry little monster. These monsters have
spread to Usagi’s school, with most of the girls in her class
having one that they’re brought to school. Going to investigate,
Usagi comes across Momaru. Yes, I know we haven’t officially
learned his name but it’s better than calling him “that weird guy
who keeps running into Usagi and they exchange insults.” Of course,
Usagi falls under the control of one of the monsters and even ignores
a little girl that falls off her bike, but Luna cheers her up. After
breaking free of the little thing, Usagi tries to help her brother
but even slapping him doesn’t help. I think I’m beginning to see
why this episode was dropped from the DIC version… Anyway, as
Sailor Moon, she returns to the pet shop and controls the Youma of
the week, a scary lizard woman who has turned all of the kids with
Chanelas into lizard people. Sailor Moon gains a new attack in this
one, Moon Tiara Stardust, which frees all the kids. But there’s
still the Youma to deal with and she chops off her tail, killing her.
And no help from Tuxedo mask! Shingo tries to get “Sailor V” to
sign something, and even accepts Sailor Moon as herself. Usagi uses
the situation to manipulate him into accepting Luna.
And that’s it for
now. I’ve been a fan of Sailor Moon since I first watched on TV in
school. Back in those days, there were only two big anime that people
watched or knew about in may age group: Dragonball Z and Sailor Moon.
And I was a fan of Sailor Moon. DBZ bores me, not going to lie. But,
for some reason, Sailor Moon is engaging and something I can get
behind. I mean, uh, enjoy. It’s funny, and sometimes serious, but
what draws me to it is that there’s heart behind it. It doesn’t
waste time with filler and power ups, it’s about the characters and
being a better person. And, yes, it does it dark later on. But it
doesn’t want to grind you down, it wants to lift you up. And if you
haven’t seen it, you really need to. It’s a classic for a reason.
Rating: 5 out of 5
Suggestion: If you
haven’t seen Sailor Moon, you are missing one of the fundamentals
of not just the Magical Girl genre but anime as a whole, so you
really need to invest the time to watch it.
Five down, 195 to go.
Heaven help me...