Content Warning: None really
Welcome to the first “Magical May” here with the Anime Necromancer! Yeah, I’m doing themed months. I mean, I did already in March with “Mecha March” but thought it sounded kind of stupid to type it out. Now, since I’m going be talking about something that most folks would find embarrassing to talk about out loud, screw it, we’re going to be out in the open about stuff.
Since you’ve already seen the title of this one, you know where we’re going today. Sailor Moon isn’t the first Magical Girl show (I think Milky Momo holds that title) but it was one of the most popular and introduced something new to the genre that has become standard: The Magical Girl team. You see, the creator of the show looked at Sentai (think Power Rangers) stuff and worked it into what would become Sailor Moon. And even Sailor Moon wasn’t her first Magical Girl work, that would be Sailor V, who later got retconned into Sailor Venus.
One final thing before we get started, I’m only doing a review of the first five episodes as there’s 200 in the original run of the show, and I don’t have time for that right now. While I’d like to revisit this thing again, I make no promises. If you want more, let me know. Otherwise, we might be waiting until May 2022. Oh, and I’m using an old fan sub of the original, none of that DIC bullshit. With that out of the way, let’s get started!
Episode One: The Crybaby: Usagi's Beautiful Transformation
Our story begins with Usagi waking up late for school and rushing off, and almost forgetting her lunch. On her way there, she finds a group young boys harassing a cat. Usagi comes to the rescue and removes a bandaid on the cat’s head. Underneath, there’s a crescent shaped bald spot on her forehead. Usagi gets to school and gets sent to stand in the hallway, not only for being late but for getting 30% on her English test. After this we get introduced to her friends, Naru and Umino. Naru’s mom owns a jewelry store and Umino is a nerd. There’s a brief discussion of Sailor V’s latest escapade and then visit the jewelry store, where there’s a lot of stuff being sold. All of this is of course the evil plan of the week to drain humans of their energy. We also see that Naru’s mom has been turned in the Youma (monster) of the week. Usagi leaves and runs into Momaru, who calls her Dumpling Head for the first time. Things pick up after some introduction of Usagi’s mom and younger brother, and her punishment for failing her English test. Finally, Luna catches up with Usagi and talks to her. Yeah, Luna is a talking cat. Her mission is fight the enemies the police can’t fight and find the others and the princess. If you’re familiar with the show at all, you already know who the princess is but I’m going to leave this as a mystery for anyone new to the franchise. It’s worth it. Usagi transforms for the first time with a shout of “Moon Prism Power Makeup!” and becomes Sailor Moon for the first time. Just in time, in fact to save Naru from the monster impersonating her mom! Funny how that works, isn’t it? Come on, it’s a kids show from 1992, you can’t expect much. Sailor Moon fights the Youma and her human slaves, one of which is armed with a broken bottle! Just when things are looking to go badly, Tuxedo mask shows up for the first time! Hell, I’ll swoon over him, because he’s just that awesome. After some crying from Sailor Moon, we get the first Moon Tiara Action and Sailor Moon saves the day for the very first time! I have to be honest, a lot happens in just a few minutes but the episode doesn’t feel slow or rushed. It’s not a bad way to kick things off.
Episode Two: Punishment Awaits! The House of Fortune is the Monster Mansion
This episode opens with a bit of a recap and then with some women getting their fortune read using the I-Ching method. Which, if you don’t know what that is, go look it up. Educate yourself. We also get some conversation from the baddies, talking about the crystal they’re hunting for. But they also need energy. Because reasons. When we get to school, we see that Umino has a huge crush on Usagi. Which isn’t a surprise at all. After Usagi gets her fortune read, we get to meet her crush, Motoki, who works at the arcade. God, will kids even know what those are these days? Don’t mind me, just feeling old. After the arcade, Usagi runs across Momaru again and ends up going home. Meanwhile, Umino has gone to the new fortune teller who uses Tarot cards. And is our Youma of the week. She uses a card to corrupt Umino, as well as others, I’m sure. The next day at school, the new and improved Umino comes in a suit, asks Usagi out on a date, and then flashes the teacher’s panties to everyone. We also see that some of the other boys have been corrupted and start throwing rocks at the school’s windows. Our Youma uses the Tarot cards they’re carrying to collect energy. Umino then tries to kiss Usagi but her crying drives him and the other boys away. Usagi goes to investigate the fortune teller and transforms into Sailor Moon. She then catches the Youma trying to convince the boys to do even worse things. And just like the other fight, Sailor Moon runs away from the Youma and zombies, only to be saved by Tuxedo Mask. After getting her pep talk, Sailor Moon easily defeats the Youma and frees the boys. The next day, Umino is crushed by what he did under the Youma’s control. But Usagi’s forgiveness brings him back.
Episode Three: The Mysterious Sleeping Sickness: Protect the Girls in Love
In the DIC version, this is the second episode, for those of you who are confused. After the recap of who we’re watching and what’s going on, Jadeite gets orders from Queen Beryl to do his job. Then we get a shot of Tokyo Tower and then see all the girls in the show, including the teacher, listening to a radio program (and I feel old again). And then in the morning, there’s an exposition dump about people suffering from a sleeping sickness. Haruna-Sensei is late to class, even later than Usagi, and seems to be in a daze, and is wearing a pretty purple flower. Which is clearly consuming her energy. While walking after school, Usagi is walking with Naru and talking about her “future boyfriend” when she runs into Momaru. Yeah. Real subtle. Usagi then tries to write a love letter to her “future boyfriend” but can’t come up with anything. Usagi also discovers that there’s no such show as Midnight Zero, the show every woman and girl is obsessed with. And yet, the show still comes on. And Naru gets her letter read that night. In the morning, Naru has her flower broach, which is the same as Haruna-Sensei’s. And starts draining Naru’s energy, too. And even drains some of Usagi’s, too, making her dream about Tuxedo Mask. Later, Usagi is trying to sneak into the radio station and gets her transformation pen, using Moon Power to look like a newscaster. And she looks great, just going say. It’s a fun way to give your character a new look when you need it. This also allows Usagi to confront Jedeite directly without giving her secret identity away. Which is good when the Youma of the week attacks and she transforms into Sailor Moon. She fights the Youma and manages to use the tiara attack without help from Tuxedo mask! She tries to attack Jedeite but fails because he’s too powerful. As all hope looks lost, Tuxedo Mask arrives and scares off Jediete. Usagi then starts writing a love letter to Tuxedo Mask before class, arriving early to school for once. Then Naru tries to read it and even Haruna-Sensei gets involved.
Episode Four: Learn How to Be Skinny from Usagi
Oh boy… This one is going to be a trip… You see, Usagi has put on some weight, which is devastating for a 14 year old girl. As her family points out, she eats a lot and doesn’t work out. Her and her girl friends at school have a conversation about weight and diets and stuff like that. Umino, creepy stalker that he is, shows them pictures of how Haruka-Sensei has lost some weight. Usagi and her friends show up at the gym, Shapely, and join for free. Of course, this is where Jedeite has set up shop. Usagi’s aversion to hard work saves her from being put in the pods that drain the fat and their energy. After leaving on her own, Usagi runs into Motoki, almost passing out from hunger. And then, after being told that Motoki likes them full figured, grabs some Bao. And then runs into Momaru, who makes fun of her. When he makes fun of her, she throws one at him, which is a serious insult in Japan, but he catches it. Usagi then returns to the gym to work herself to death. There, Luna sees Haruna-Sensei going into one of the energy draining pods in the basement, discovering the evil plan. To save Haruna-Sensei, Luna gets really scary and gets Usagi to change into Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon confronts Jedeite in the basement and the workers, who are being controlled by the things on their heads. We get to see Sailor Moon go hand-to-hand with these big burly guys, it’s pretty cool. She then uses the Tiara to break the circlets and free them. After getting back, Jedeite says that Sailor Moon will die by his hand.
Episode Five: Scent of a Monster! Chanela Will Steal Your Love
This is another skipped episode from the DIC version, so let’s see if we can figure out why… After being saved by a nightmare by Tuxedo Mask, Usagi wakes up to Shingo freaking about Luna in her brother, Shingo’s room. It turns out that he hates cats. Usagi wants to make Luna the family pet but Shingo will have nothing to do with it. After school we meet Shingo’s love interest, Miko. Together, they go to a pet shop and Shingo finds a Chanela, which looks like a guinea pig in desperate need of a hair cut. Of course, these things are the new weapon used to collect energy from humans. After bringing the Chanela home, Shingo kicks Luna, the little bastard. Of course, he’s actually under the control of the furry little monster. These monsters have spread to Usagi’s school, with most of the girls in her class having one that they’re brought to school. Going to investigate, Usagi comes across Momaru. Yes, I know we haven’t officially learned his name but it’s better than calling him “that weird guy who keeps running into Usagi and they exchange insults.” Of course, Usagi falls under the control of one of the monsters and even ignores a little girl that falls off her bike, but Luna cheers her up. After breaking free of the little thing, Usagi tries to help her brother but even slapping him doesn’t help. I think I’m beginning to see why this episode was dropped from the DIC version… Anyway, as Sailor Moon, she returns to the pet shop and controls the Youma of the week, a scary lizard woman who has turned all of the kids with Chanelas into lizard people. Sailor Moon gains a new attack in this one, Moon Tiara Stardust, which frees all the kids. But there’s still the Youma to deal with and she chops off her tail, killing her. And no help from Tuxedo mask! Shingo tries to get “Sailor V” to sign something, and even accepts Sailor Moon as herself. Usagi uses the situation to manipulate him into accepting Luna.
And that’s it for now. I’ve been a fan of Sailor Moon since I first watched on TV in school. Back in those days, there were only two big anime that people watched or knew about in may age group: Dragonball Z and Sailor Moon. And I was a fan of Sailor Moon. DBZ bores me, not going to lie. But, for some reason, Sailor Moon is engaging and something I can get behind. I mean, uh, enjoy. It’s funny, and sometimes serious, but what draws me to it is that there’s heart behind it. It doesn’t waste time with filler and power ups, it’s about the characters and being a better person. And, yes, it does it dark later on. But it doesn’t want to grind you down, it wants to lift you up. And if you haven’t seen it, you really need to. It’s a classic for a reason.
Rating: 5 out of 5
Suggestion: If you
haven’t seen Sailor Moon, you are missing one of the fundamentals
of not just the Magical Girl genre but anime as a whole, so you
really need to invest the time to watch it.
Five down, 195 to go.
Heaven help me...
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