Anime: Kite

 

Content Warning: Sex, graphic violence, bloody murder, sexual assault, underage stuff. Yeah.

Oh boy… This movie is one that I’d seen around and knew it was sexy, violent, and bloody from clips here and there. But I never got around to watching it. And I knew that even if I found it in a rental store, I wouldn’t want to be seen renting it (much less buying it) so a friend of mine downloaded it in those Wild West days of the internet. And it’s been moved from drive to drive, unwatched, until now.

Our story begins with Sawa, our main character, dressed up like a schoolgirl, getting macked on by some semi-famous comedian in an elevator. He starts insulting some old lady that’s also on the elevator and knocks her glasses off. After that happens, Sawa takes out the comdian with a gun that puts shoots a bullet that lodges into the body then detonates. So, blood everywhere.

Later, the crime scene is being investigated by a detective. And, as with all detectives, he seems pretty inured to the scene before him. Even the fact that the little old lady had a heart attack when she put her glasses back on and saw what happened to the comedian. Of course, the big reveal later is that the detective is Sawa’s handler and gave her the mission to kill him. We also find out that the detective took Sawa in after her parents were murdered and has trained her to be an assassin. And been having sex with her. So… Yeah. That’s a thing.

The next mission we see is Sawa teaming up with Oburi, a male version of herself. Together, they take out three reported child molesters. We also meet Oburi’s handler, who worked with the detective to train Sawa, but Oburi and Sawa never knew about each other. And Sawa goes out of her way to get to know him. I don’t know why.

The third mission is a complete disaster. Sawa dresses up like a boy and has to kill one twin, who happens to be a Hollywood star. Well, they have three bodyguards and Sawa screws the pooch. She has to stab people, throw around an explosive, shoots the wrong twin, and gets thrown out of the hole in the wall she made and… I will say that this action scene is intense, with her fighting with a guy as they fall through the air, landing on an overpass, having the car fall through the overpass, landing on a truck, having the truck fall through the road into the subway, and then having a sign land on top, making a massive explosion. Out of everything I’ve seen so far, this was the best part of the movie. So crazy and over the top but well done.

Afterwards, we see that the detective’s partner is a rapist. Yeah. Like you thought that these people who trained orphans to be assassins were going to be good, decent people. The detective is mad at Sawa for not only screwing everything up but also for killing the wrong twin, as he was the client. She also wants to go back to the scene to find her earring, as they were made out of the blood of her murdered parents. This girl… Sigh.

Sawa goes to kill Oburi but seems to change her mind. She also knows that the detective and his partner were the ones to kill her parents. Why she keeps doing this, I have no idea. Oburi gets a job to kill a supposed prosecutor on a train. And it also goes to shit, with the target having a gun and they have a shootout. And then, you know, an explosion. Sawa shows up to save him, as he needs it at the right moment.

Oburi then tries to quit by attacking the detective. But he loses to him and his friend. Sawa again shows up to save him. And then the final confrontation happens. And they lose. The detective ends up raping Sawa in front of Oburi. I just… WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK AM I WATCHING RIGHT NOW! Why is this? What is this? I don’t know how this movie had any sort of following! It’s just way, way, WAY TOO MUCH! Oh, it was all an act. Sawa was in on it the whole time. The whole thing with Oburi was a set up. Or was it? Games within games nonsense at this point? Nope. Sawa killed the detective’s partner and then goes to kill the detective. She played along with the detective’s sick game to throw him off and then brutally guns him down, putting a round right in his balls. Which, yeah, well deserved. The movie ends with Oburi getting gunned down by a child with one of their special guns, just green this time. And Sawa waits for him…

Okay. Yeah. This is a A LOT. And it takes a lot to process. I don’t know what to make of this film. There’s some interesting things going on here, what, with the child orphan assassins and the whole thing. But the gratuitous sex and violence is too much, even for the era this move came out. Thankfully, it’s just over 50 minutes long. It tries to ram in so much exposition, and sex, and violence, and it just… It doesn’t work for me. I don’t know… I mean, this came out at the same time (roughly) as the “Holy Sci-Fi Anime Trilogy” meaning, Cowboy Bepop, Trigun, and Outlaw Star. There were so many good things coming out and then… This.

Well, I guess I get to see even more of this as next month I’m going to review the American live-action adaption of it. Hopefully, my head doesn’t explode...

Rating: 1 out of 5
Suggestion: This is probably the worst thing I have ever seen and I don’t know why it exists.